A good heart these days is hard to find

Yes, I know it's a dreadful post title. Revolting song. The sort of thing the anti-Dylan would sing. But who among you will challenge it to be apt?  My mate Nick Ferrett came up with an alternative analogy based on a Madonna song. Enough said.

I blame the title on the drugs I am presently funnelling through my body. I intend to retain one of the major Accountancy firms to calculate the precise number I take every day. This will come down over time but for the moment it's breakfast with a bucket of drugs (literally), followed by a few drugs through the day and then finished with dinner and drugs. I think I did die in theatre. I have been reincarnated as Keith Richards.

I am now back with my good pals in Ward 1B. We are working on a timetable for a release date. All going well, I will be home soon.

The heart is going well. I have now have two biopsies and both indicate that we do not have any realistic rejection issues at this stage.

What's a biopsy, you ask? Good question. A biopsy is a pleasant little procedure whereby a cardiologist will put a tool through your neck, reach into the heart, snip out a few little morsels and retrieve them for examination. For the next few weeks, I have them weekly. Like most things medical, they are nowhere near as gruesome as they sound. Quite the opposite to practising law, where a simple document can be made horrendously complex with little effort.

I must say that I got a major thrill watching my new heart beating strongly and independently on the monitor in theatre. It was an amazing thing to experience.

I am now back into rehab. My strength is returning quickly and each day I can do more. Lisa remains a harsh taskmaster. This is God's punishment for every glass of wine I have ever drunk.

Moreover, I am now almost completely free from all attachments. It's now just one little drain. This would be wonderful if I could use my arms. For the next few weeks, I must keep the arms immobile. I can still eat, type and brush my teeth. I just cannot put any weight through the arms. Yes, it is as difficult as you expect. This is God's punishment for every glass of beer I have ever drunk.

You should be thankful I am permitted to type. I was not going to resort to channelling Christy Brown to keep you updated.

I caught up with Noel yesterday. He is doing amazingly well. If I am doing this well in a month I shall be very pleased indeed.

More good news lies in the fact that Mandy has now gone home with her VAD to wait for a heart. This is a much better option than hospital for anyone, let alone a twenty year old. You'll get there, girl. You will.

One of the many drugs I am taking is a thing called Prednisone. It's a steroid and I am putting it down in massive doses. This, for me, can be best explained in the words of Kramer. "I'm on no sleep, Jerry. No sleep."

 I get around four hours of sleep a night. I suppose that's a lawyer's sleep in.


Until next time,